out of the house

in the supermarket sometimes
a staring face
makes the heart panic
louder
and tightening of loose thoughts
twist
the fear inside
knot the stomach
pull the gut
shake the hand
that grabs at nothing
but my own fear
'i've seen you on telly'
she says
'are you that singer'
he asks
the smile comes
but
the tears are never far away
big baby
big baby fear
big baby scared of yourself
again
i know the cure
home
take the pills
safe

Mahinarangi Tocker